A Flower Grows in a Heart of Hope
by Bianca

December 31, 2007 was the day I finally turned thirteen. I got up and looked at myself, I still looked short and skinny. I walked around the house until I heard my sister wake up. I ran to my bed and acted as if I were sleeping. Tea (my sister) liked to be the first organism I saw when I turned a new age, it made her feel special.” Bianca, hurry you are thirteen!” she told me as she jumped on top of me. I opened my eyes lazily, acting as if I had just woken up.

Today, we are at our mother’s house, but our Dad Alberto and our step mom Marlene are coming to pick us up to take us out for a birthday brunch. We would celebrate my birthday on Wednesday when we went to my Dad’s house.

My Dad and Marlene came to pick us up at 10 AM. They did not tell me where we were going, but they told me I could order my favorite food, salmon. Once we had parked I knew exactly where we were going. My sister and I opened the tall glass doors of the Marmalade Café. It was warm and busy inside. Noises of clanking cups and talk about the New Year filled the restaurant.

My Dad and I both ordered poached eggs with salmon it was delicious. After eating we all walked over to the book store a few stores down. My sister went with my Dad to the back of the store, while Marlene and I looked around the store. After a little bit my sister came back to where we were and gave me a bag. “Here, happy birthday.” Tea announced. Tea smiled, “I was going to get you the “Wicked” sound tack but they didn’t have any left.” She had gotten me the High School Musical CD.

Stop!!!!

Here I am telling you about my birthday, but this story is not about me. Let’s skip ahead to January 1st 7 AM. The first day of 2008, I got up and ate little snack .I opened the door to the patio and walked outside. I decided to go jump on the trampoline. After about twenty minutes of jumping I stopped. I thought how weird it had been that my Dad had not called since brunch. I tried calling my Dad, but no one picked up the phone. Marlene and my Dad could be sleeping, it was still early but my Dad always calls. little did I know that my Dad and Marlene had been awake since 1 AM not partying but being in a state of panic. At 5AM, Sam who is a doctor took my dad and Marlene to the emergency room. My Dad needed to have an emergency gallbladder surgery. It’s funny he went to the same hospital I was born in exactly thirteen years and six hours ago. My Dad’s surgery was no funny he had many complications. He lost half of his blood supply and the surgeon had to snip a bit of my Dad’s liver. Now looking back that was a miracle in hiding. How can a surgery that put my dad in the hospital be a miracle? On January 9th, 2008 my Dad got diagnosed with throat cancer. Cancer, wow that’s a scary word.

Tea and I were not told right away, because they had no idea what they were going to do. From January to February Marlene was always thinking .I would talk to her and she would not hear me. I had been suspicious that there was more but, there was a lot more than I expected.

On February 2nd, 2008 my Dad called Tea and Me to the living room. I don’t remember how our Dad told us that he was starting radiation and chemotherapy. He told us he was going to get a feeding tube in his stomach and that would be were he would be eating from. Marlene told us that he was going to get treated at The City Of Hope. She also explained that my dad had been accepted in to the charity program and that he was donating his tissues for research. She also told us how hopeful The City Of Hope was. I didn’t understand. Did my Dad have cancer? What was The City Of Hope? Is my Dad going to lose his hair? One question that hurt me the most was, what was going to happen to our family? One question that never entered my head was, if my dad would die? I had no idea what the process was. This was so confusing .I really had no idea. My Dad kept talking but the only thing I heard was chemotherapy and radiation.

My Dad got his surgery for his food tube before they started his treatment. When my dad first got the tube I could not be in the same room as him. I felt so terrible that I was only thinking about myself but I didn’t want to think about what was happening with my dad. Instead I thought about school and dancing. School was the only place I could escape. I didn’t want to escape because I didn’t love my dad, but it’s hard. It’s hard to live knowing things like that your father has cancer and just trying to live normally when you can’t. When my Dad got his first round of chemotherapy he had a twelve-hour drip of Cisplatin. Cisplatin is the highest amount of chemotherapy there is. After getting the treatment my dad had to have loads of water, so his kidneys would not get ruined .For the first two days my dad felt fine but when that Wednesday came around three days after, we knew what chemotherapy was all about. My Dad put a happy face around us, but I could see how sick he was. He was sensitive to everything but after a week and a half the short term effects of the chemotherapy started to ware off.

My Dad at first did not feel the effects of the radiation but it is the kind of treatment that needs to accumulate and when it accumulates you feel it and you wish you didn’t. The last piece of food my dad ate before starting to feel that he couldn’t, was a hamburger. The radiation got worse and worse. His skin where they were radiating got worse and his ability to eat got worse.

This got to the point were I could not distract myself in school. Cancer was being fought and it is a scary process, one that you can’t ignore. I helped my dad as much as I could.

During spring break Tea and I had to go with our dad to The City Of Hope. I didn’t want to go to another hospital. Marlene explained to me that The City Of Hope was not a regular hospital; it’s filled with trees, flowers, fish, birds and hope. The next day we went. My Dads friend, Armand, who drove him Thursdays and Fridays drove us. We first went to the little house that they rented for five dollars a day. As we walked there we saw baby bunnies and big bunnies too .The house had one room a kitchen and a bathroom. When we went inside I saw my old bed spreads. My sister’s was on one bed and mine was on the other. We took my dad to where he got his radiation; there our dad introduced us to all of doctors. Doctors had a smile on their face. Every garden and every doctor were filled with hope. We went to a coffee booth inside the building and each ordered some thing to drink. We then walked over to the Japanese garden. They had a gumball machine that dispensed fish food but it was empty. We then just looked at the fish and explored other gardens.

The next day we went again to The City Of Hope this time there was fish food. Tea and I each fed the fish. The coy-fish made an amazing sound. That day my Dad took us to the main building; there we saw sick people of all ages there. After five weeks of radiation we had to hire a nurse named Roger. We got Roger because my Dad was too sick to stay home by himself. For the first week or two Roger and my Dad would watch soccer and Roger would give my Dad food through his tube. After six weeks of radiation it was time for my dad to get his second round of chemotherapy. This time it was a lot worse. My Dad felt dead. Every thing in his body good or bad was completely killed. The radiation was not any better it was worse. My Dad’s skin turned black and dark purple. They were cooking him from the inside out it actually smelt like cooked human. It is disgusting I know, that had been my life.

In April I started to become more comfortable with my Dad’s tube. I started to be able to feed him through his tube. My Dad’s treatment ended April 10th, 2008. The radiation kept accumulating. My Dad did not feel any better. He still could not eat and he felt the long-term effects of the chemotherapy.

My Dad is recovering but we are taking a slow path back to being healthy, it is the same path we took to get to where we are. Through this I have lost a lot of my fears. I have learned so much through this process. My sister and I are different people than we were on December 31, 2007, we all are.

All I know is that the next month will be about recuperating my Dad. Then in a month Marlene and my Dad will go to The City Of Hope and take a PET scan to see if my dad still has cancer, then in a week will learn the results. Till then all we can do is wait.

Today is June 3, 2008; it has been exactly five months since my Dad was diagnosed with throat cancer. As I am writing this I don’t even know the ending to this story. That is because right now as I speak Marlene and my Dad are at The City Of Hope taking tests and learning the results of others.1:15 pm, does my Dad still have cancer? 1:16 pm, What will happen? I have no idea what the answers are to any of these questions. I am sitting in my seat waiting until I can call my dad to see how this story ends. As I think of it this has been my life for the past five months. I am ready to start a new story a new chapter in my life. As I think of it even more this is not the end it is a new start.

Cancer is a lesson, “a hard lesson”. Only people who have it know that it too shall pass, you must have hope and a loving carrying family can get you through it will come out stronger. I feel as if I can take the world, that we can take the world together. God sent our family cancer for a reason, to learn lessons, to love our lives, to be healthy, to be so appreciative for the people we have in our lives and to show that life is far from perfect but with some hope it is a lot better. Cancer has changed my life, my family’s life, and I think for the better.